It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
