My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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