is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
