Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
