we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
