Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
