I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
