For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
