so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
