I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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