got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
