Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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