Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
