I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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