Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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