What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You can't just leave with hair like that
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
