Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
