the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
wow bdsm is so cute
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
