MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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