from now on my penis is your penis
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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