I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The power of my boobs compel you
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize