Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
is that a dick in a sweater?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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