thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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