Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
