the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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