Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
