3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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