I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
