Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
