I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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