But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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