so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
