We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
