some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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