4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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