Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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