What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
