College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
