She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I looked at my own cervix.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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