I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
