Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
