she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
