So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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