I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
