Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
