Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
