I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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