If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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