I think I won the penis lottery.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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