i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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