Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
