we have pet lesbian snakes
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
