I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
